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How to be more assertive in your relationships

Relationships can be great but they can also bring their challenges. One minute we can be riding high and the next, not. It’s all part of the rich tapestry of life and relationships.

Relationship balance

So what can happen when conflict occurs and one of the relationship partners feels overlooked or an unequal partner in the relationship. A sense of unhappiness can creep into our lives when we don’t feel appreciated or heard. While compromise is essential in most relationships, it’s important to keep the balance right so that one partner doesn’t feel that they always compromising and are never fully satisfied in the relationship. This can apply to all relationships, be it romantic, work relationships or friendships.

We all have so many relationships to maintain in our lives and they can all make demands of us in different ways. We can have demanding friends, elderly parents who need a bit more care, a boss who doesn’t seem to appreciate weekends are not work days and a partner who doesn’t do as much as you’d like around the house.

Value yourself

We all want relationships in our lives, but at times, expectations of those relationship can become overwhelming for some of us. If we aren’t careful, we can neglect our self-care and overlook our own needs, whilst still looking after everyone else’s needs. However, this isn’t sustainable, we can’t keep running on empty and ignoring our own needs and wants. We all know that we need to assert ourselves in life to make sure our voice is heard. Being heard and feeling valued, means we all have the opportunity to grow and relax. But the key is knowing when to assert ourselves and how to share our opinions, in an empathic way and this can feel daunting at times.

Are you being authentic

Many of us are concerned that we may come across as rude or demanding, which isn’t a comfortable feeling for many of us. Many of also don’t want to make any demands on people or feel we are putting pressure on others. We don’t want to rock the boat and because of this constant suppression of our feelings, feelings of dissatisfaction can build up slowly and cause us to feel more and more disconnected with ourselves. If we are constantly ignoring our wishes, opinions or requests for ourselves then how can we actually be ourselves?

By ignoring our own wishes and desires we are not being our authentic self. Being authentic is about being true to yourself, your own ideals and beliefs. If we keep living lives that aren’t authentic lives for us, then this means we are constantly compromising in our lives and this can potentially lead to unhappiness and inner conflict. This is true in relationships. If we are constantly compromising in our relationships then ultimately, we can become unhappy in our relationships and that can lead to friction.

It's all about the confidence

Being consistently ‘you’ isn’t always easy, especially when you are moving from relationship to relationship. We can’t be the same person with our partner as we are with our friends and it can be hard to know who we are all of the time.

So which of the different roles are us? Answer. They all are. Some roles are more natural than others, for example with our friends and other roles are more forced, for example, with work colleagues. When some of our ‘roles’ feel forced, it is essential that just a couple of them are really solid and nurture who we are and give us what we need. So, if you feel that not enough of your relationships are providing this solid, nurturing balance, then it may be time to reflect on this and consider your options to rebalance your life and bring in some assertiveness and confidence training.

How can Hypnotherapy help?

Hypnotherapy use’s your imagination and this can help to address fears or worries, and boost confidence. Confidence is one of the key areas for being authentic and asserting yourself. Confidence helps us all to know when to say no and look after ourselves.

Hypnotherapy can help you to imagine moments of conflict in your life and help you to reframe those situations and equip you with the tools to deal with this conflict politely while still asserting yourself.

This can be incredibly powerful for those of us who bottle things up and get stuck. It can also be a great new way of communicating and ensuring that you are being heard.

Hypnotherapy can also release the past by using a technique called regression. You already have the means to assert yourself and have meaningful, positive, balanced relationships but hypnotherapy can give you the tools to help unlock this hidden strength within and find your inner assertive self. xx

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