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How can we stay connected to someone we’ve lost?

When any of us lose someone it can be incredibly painful and hard to accept that we’ve lost that person. One of the ways we can help manage to loss of a loved one can be the idea of maintaining continuing bonds, but what is this?

What is a Continuing Bond?

The idea of maintaining continuing bonds with a loved one who has died is relatively new. It was first explored in a 1996 and proposed that, instead of detaching from the person we’ve lost, healthy grief can be found by creating a new relationship with the deceased. When a loved one dies, you can slowly find ways to adjust and redefine your relationship with that person, creating a continuing bond that can endure throughout your lifetime.

Ways to keep a connection with lost loved ones

There are a few ways to continue bonds with your loved one who has died. Here are five tips that can help to maintain a connection and find a new and different relationship with your loved one.

Five Tips for Continuing Bonds

There are so many loving, yet simple ways to keep the memory of your lost loved ones alive.

One – Write to the Person you’ve Lost

Writing personal messages or letters can help you stay connected with your loved one in the present. You could write Write as often or as you like – weekly, monthly, annually, or whenever you want to get close to your loved one.

Two – Keep Photos or Objects Around

Keeping photos on display keeps us connected with our loved ones and helps us remember the times, places, and events that touched our lives. Photos can bring back memories and make us smile. We can also choose to keep an item that has a strong connection to our loved one.

Three – Talk about them to people who never knew them

There will be new people who come into your life who never had the opportunity to meet your loved one while they were alive. Find ways to tell new people about your loved ones and keep their memory alive.

Four – Finish a project they had started

Finish a project around the house, finish a piece of artwork they started, or volunteer for a charity that they loved. Consider picking up where your loved one left off to continue your connection with the person.

Five – Visit somewhere that your loved one planned to visit

Many bereaved people can find comfort in taking a trip or visiting a destination that was special to the person who died. A trip like this can bring us closer to the deceased and remind us of what is important and meaningful to those that are gone.

Connecting the past to the present

While many grievers can feel self-conscious about maintaining ties with deceased loved ones, the practice has become widely accepted as a normal and healthy way to grieve a person and connecting their memory into the life we live today.

Holidays, events, and special days, like Birthdays, all present opportunities to remember our loved ones who have died. On these occasions, people can feel a wave of grief hit them and this can create a desire to be close to the person they have lost. These are times when we can incorporate our lost one into these events and continue the bond of love we had with that person. xx

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